Drawings on the Wall – a new journey through kinship care

In my last post, I wrote of “slowly finding a way to put the broken pieces of my life together to create something new.” Well, life has taken a very quick turn instead, throwing more broken pieces at me while also providing more ways to create something beautiful.

A couple of months ago, my 5 year old nephew was removed from his home and came to stay with me with nothing but a bag of diapers and a couple changes of clothes. I didn’t know if I could do it, but saw no other choice but to try, and here we are, a couple of months later, settling in and growing closer every day.

When I bought my home, I made sure I had an extra bedroom for a nursery. I always imagined spending time planning and decorating the extra room for my future child, creating and coordinating adorable art, finding what they like and incorporating it over time. Here I am now, same extra bedroom, but a completely different story. And yet with no time for planning and a hodgepodge of items donated by friends, we have created a room full of art and memories, more special than I ever imagined.

The artwork began one night when, while reading a copy of Goodnight Moon together, my nephew started looking back and forth between his bedroom wall and the book, trying to imagine the picture of the cow jumping over the moon on his wall, just like in the book. After he went to sleep, finally with some peace and quiet, I decided to wind down by drawing the picture using his crayons and paper, leaving it out as a surprise for him in the morning.

I witnessed a huge smile when he discovered the drawing, and his excitement when I explained how I drew it with his crayons while he was asleep. The next time we read the book, he pointed to the picture of the 3 bears sitting on chairs. So again, after putting him to bed, I got to work with another therapeutic crayon drawing session:

We hit a pretty big road bump when he started attending day camp so that I could return to work part time. To get through the first few weeks of this transition, I put together a sticker chart and explained that at the end of each week, he would get a special treat, and after he requested a drawing of Sonic the Hedgehog, I added a special drawing to the weekend reward.

He was very resistant to the chart, but happily pointed to the spot on his wall where he wanted me to hang Sonic, and quick to suggest Tails and Knuckles as his future weeks’ rewards. 

After a few weeks, we were able to visit with his mother, and she brought some sweet paintings for him:

A collection of art was forming to create a comforting connection between his past, present, and future with those who love him.

Each step of the way, he chose a spot on the wall for each picture, and I attached it simply with some Washi Tape. Sloppy, unplanned, beautiful:

Life has felt like an unpredictable, painful, paradoxical journey. The past months have been surrounded by anxiety, exhaustion, mental illness, substance abuse, angry tantrums, and disturbing behaviors. But what also emerged, almost instantly, is a tangled thread of love knotted through it all, and a reminder of what art and decoration are really about – not impressing others with the perception of perfection, but memories, self expression, and a connection with others to help us through this tangled mess of life.