An Update and a Mandala

It’s hard to believe that I started this blog almost 8 years ago. And with only a handful of posts and nothing new added in about 5 years, I am surprised and grateful that you guys are still out there, visiting my little site, and using my tutorials for your own projects.

Back in 2010, I was a newlywed in my early 20s, figuring out my career, building an Etsy shop, and wondering what the future would hold. Between then and now, frankly, I’ve had a lot of stress, anxiety, depression, and isolation watching the family I grew up with crumble apart as my marriage did the same. Pretty early on, the stress triggered chronic fatigue, leaving me with barely enough energy to get off the couch to take the dog out, get some work done to pay the bills, make some food, and start it all over again the next day. I still managed to build a solid career, save up some money, and purchase my first home. This was followed by a divorce in 2015, and then a couple of grueling semesters going back to school.

After my divorce, to my surprise, the chronic fatigue began to lift, along with some other health problems. It’s been tough trying to re-frame my understanding of life and love, but as my energy has returned, so has my creativity, and no matter what happens, I am who I am, and I am still here. I’ve been doing a lot of learning and writing, and completing fun (and frustrating) projects around my home, volunteering, and slowly finding a way to put the broken pieces of my life together to create something new.

As part of that, I want to finally get back to this blog, share what I have been doing, hopefully inspire and encourage some of you, and receive inspiration and encouragement at the same time.

So where to begin? Well how about some colorful drawing to lift the mood?

Drawing a Mandala

When I was in school, I was a chronic doodler, so when I found Zentangle, I knew it was something I had to try. Take a look at some of the awesomeness that inspired me:

zentangle

zentangle feathers

mandala illusion

I decided to start my own Zentangle (or Zendoodle as I like to call it) with a mandala. When I first saw drawings of mandalas, I immediately remembered the “design flowers” my mom taught me to draw as a kid. You would start with a simple flower in the middle of a piece of paper, and continue to add designs around it until the page was filled. She taught me the art of drawing mandalas without even realizing it!

These grown-up “design flowers” are created with a bit more precision though, so I found a tutorial to learn how to do it (https://www.bohoberry.com/draw-a-mandala/). Basically, you draw  intersecting lines using a straight edge and a protractor, then use a compass to draw some circles centered around the intersection of the lines, and the lines and circles are the framework for your designs.

Drawing Supplies

My first attempt was done using some regular writing pens, but I abandoned this attempt after a few hours of getting frustrated by the lack of precision with the pens as well as their slow-drying ink leading to accidental smears. The next day I decided to shop for some better equipment. What a difference! No more frustration with pens, they are so wonderfully precise and bold and dry quickly so I don’t have to worry about smudges. Seriously, spend a few bucks and get a set of drawing pens if you want to do any detailed drawing. I am using Staedtler Triplus Fineliners for color, Microns for precise jet-black lines, and the colored pencils are an old set of Prismacolors. I do still need some new equipment for my aging eyes, but that’s another issue… :/

Because this is my first go at it, I don’t have very many pictures, but I do have a couple that kinda show the process of sketching designs, outlining them, and filling them in.

The drawing isn’t quite done yet, but I’m feeling pretty proud of the result so far!! Who knew years of doodling and childhood design flowers could lead to this vibrancy and awesomeness! I love mandalas!!

Let’s end this on a personal note

When I look at projects and pictures posted online, it is so easy to think that the person posting it has it all together. Even if there have been past struggles, we try to put a positive spin on it, as I have done in this post. But in my case, it never means that the struggle is over, and I imagine that is true for just about everyone else out there. I have plenty to be grateful for, but also a constant struggle with loneliness and anxiety, and personal struggles that strike me to my core. Posting positivity and showing off creative things that make me feel proud should never be mistaken for having it all together, and I encourage us all to keep that in mind when viewing anything on the web by friends, family, or strangers, and try to remain honest and supportive, and never feel inferior because of someone else’s apparent success.

Let me know what you think. I appreciate and value you and your time, and I would love to hear from you!